Is it me or is it them?
Where can you turn when life turns upside down? Where DO you turn is more likely the question you need to ask? When things don't seem to be going your way, that is the question with which you must begin. When life deals us a blow frequently we find ourselves triggered and coping with life instead of living and experiencing it. When you are triggered by life events where do you turn?...take a moment and really look.
If you are like most of us you cope. You struggle and hope, and seek to change the offending events or people. If you lose your job, or your spouse is uncaring, or your child is caught doing something you hoped would never happen; 'YOU' the authentic 'YOU' disappears and in its place is the small 'you' of survival. It is what humans have been doing since before recorded time. Bad things happen and 'BAM' out comes our survival self to engage whatever appropriate fight/flight behavior we have stored for just such a moment. We call it fight/flight/freeze and it is the mental tool all humans possess to handle life's problematic issues. It is also the single source of more misery in today's world than any other activity engaged by us.
Think about it for a moment, if your boss threatens your job, or your spouse is caught cheating on you, or if your child is doing drugs, how will running away from it or trying to beat it up help you? If we turn to our natural reactive self we turn to trouble.
Human fight/flight rears its head each time we get triggered by life events and because we are human it often goes unnoticed. You have all seen examples of this in your own life. Turning a cold shoulder to someone and declaring, "Nothing is wrong," or telling someone, "I'm not mad, I just feel it is best if we quit seeing each other." We get triggered and then we cope using the preprogrammed behaviors we learned by the time we were eight years old. We feel we must and we are driven to act from our menu of reactions which will not solve any of the problems with which we struggle in dealing with our family, friends and business contacts.
What can you do when life turns upside down? You can acknowledge that you are driven to cope and that coping is unlikely to solve any of these problems. When life turns YOU upside down and little 'you' emerges it is time to surrender. It is time for you to stop what you are doing and take a look at what you are being. Let go of your driven needs to fix the problem, surrender to the possibility that, if you could regain your balance and essence, miracles would await you. Some people choose meditation, some may seek counseling, still others turn to their religion and if surrender is used, each will help; but surrender is tricky.
This is the theme of these new books Life after Survival: Consciously Evolving our Consciousness and Life after Survival: The Companion Guide and Workbook and the tools you will find there can open the door to your return to centered and calm no matter what the circumstances you may face in your day...We are not human 'doings' we are human 'beings' and when your world is turned upside down it is time for you to be with that and embrace that, and welcome the possibilities that only this moment and the next can bring. Read the books Life after Survival: Consciously Evolving our Consciousness and Life after Survival: Companion Guide & Workbook and enjoy the ride. It is one place we can turn when life has set us on our head.
There is far more to life than survival...be well.
